just the other night visions of tree bark danced in my head

So I went out with my friend on Saturday night and we ended up at Baileys, where unfortunately the UFC fight was goin on so it was pretty crowded but I was offered 2 seats at the bar by a very nice gentleman so we had a nice little spot to take it all in. I ordered my vodka/water and it was delish - the bartender was mad hitting on me and he was alright looking I guess and I was super comfy chillin at the bar drinkin and smokin. But this girl I was with has some kind of radar, or super talent for finding and then bringing over the most retarded, ugly loser guys in the entire place. I was mortified. So reluctantly she went over to the fight side with them and I told her I would meet her but was sooo not looking forward to it. I was like look I have to close out my tab, to my pleasant surprise my bartender fellow had purchased 2 of my drinks and since I gave him my number I felt no need to tip so I only spent 11 dollars (which is usually the max I spend lol). That's my kind of night when I minimally have to pay for shit and am not forced to talk to losers. I never got a chance (thankfully) to go over to where my friend was because she had realised very quickly the wrongness of her decision and asked me if I wanted to leave, it was a little before 1 so I was ok with it, I wasn't looking to get drunk and the scene was getting kinda tired. Even still I still woke up the next morning dreaming of gallons of water and my mouth felt as dry as lemon potpourri.


Meanwhile today I was freaking out this dude at work by my stellar and disturbingly accurate recitation of the first half of Wayne's World. Oh well I guess that is what my brain is full of, nothing useful of course!

bus stop

So I was riding on the back of this huge Bengal tiger through this valley of trees that had umbrellas for branches and swizzle stick for leaves. The guys name was Millard or Nancy I can't really recall but he definitely had on some super awesome yellow jumbo sunglasses and sported a pompadore. he was standing at the end of what looked like pretty much the coolest roller coaster I have ever seen but to get to it you had to take a boat, when The Tiger was like yo I can swim so he flipped over onto his back and we all jumped on. the entire time the kinks play in the back round. I wish the Ice Cream tasted like Pepperoni Pizza and Licorice. I got to the Roller coaster and it was closed and I looked around for some kind of explanation but all I saw was my grampa standing with a will work for food sign in a crispy white suit and patent leather shoes. I had some pizza licorice Ice cream and we ate it and we laughed all day long while the clouds bounced us around like a couple of pin balls.

you can have my spot

Do not even get me started on this entire gay marriage thing- it really frosts my cookies that this country is still so hung up on issues such as this. Are not we ALL the same, honestly, we all bleed the same, hurt the same, love the same. Just because being straight and "socially acceptable" Heteros can get married to some loser asshole and pop out a thousand kids and live on welfare and beat the kids and commit adultery. God for Freaking bid A gay couple wants to get married and have a thousand kids - OH NO they are going to turn the kids gay! cuz that's what they do ya know! and oh yeah ALLLLL Gay people are bad, promiscuous and sick in the head. DO YOU HEAR HOW RIDICULOUS THIS ALL SOUNDS AMERICA!!!! I am as straight as an arrow, but I am absolutely livid at this propaganda going around about gay marriage it makes me want to vomit. Live and let live - Jesus Christ, who the hell are we to stop loving, good couples from marrying and sharing a legal life together, getting divorced and starting over, cuz that's what us asshole straight ppl do, we take such advantage of our right to get married most of us do it at LEAST 3 times in our lives!!! now tell me the "sanctity" of marriage is not fucked up! So any of you out there animatedly opposed to getting married let a gay couple have your spot! dang I wish it worked like that!

For you and me to live in

The clink is scary. I would cry my eyes out if I ever were to be arrested for a DUI or anything for that matter. I have always always been a spoiled brat living in a perfect suburban town in a decent suburban house with no real drama except typical suburban domestic violence. I know people who may have dabbled a bit in drugs but only on a suburban level (AKA the highest level possible, just above city) and I watch this show Lockup on that MSNBC just mesmerized about how these people can live their lives like they do in prison. Its like they are in jail for committing crimes yet still commit crimes because they have nothing to lose cuz they are never getting out or they go to jail and are gonna get out so they pretend to straighten up and fly right but in fact the recidivism
rate is astronomical. I really really have not pin pointed what about the whole prison thing intrigues me so so much, is it the bad ass hardened criminals, is it the super structured lifestyle, is it the danger involved, is it the crazy crimes they commit, is it the childish meaninglessness of their day to day lives, is it the fact that it makes me feel better about my own life...I just don't know maybe a combinational platter of all those things does it for me...but seriously I used to work with guy whose brother was in Red Onion (SuperMax facility in VA) and when he would talk about visiting I would just wish that I could go with him. but then when I actually really thought about what it would be like visiting that dudes brother I freaked out and would have been too scared to go anyways. I can't even walk into the social services building without wanting to immediately take a shower how the hell would I be able to walk into a disease infested prison to have a little chit chat with a murderer. Oh and well also my fucking head is a scary enough place indeed.

I also think our prison system needs a bit of reform. It boggles my mind the amount of money this country spends on keeping all these people behind bars. Also our country is the only one in the world with such a high percentage of adults in the slammer so is that saying something? are we just criminal happy hoarding them like grandmas stuffed cats? nah of course some politicians are getting massive kickbacks from all the funding and the more we imprison the better business will be so keep on committing crimes out there citizens papa needs a new Bentley.